Having spent weeks and weeks doing next to nothing in Malaysia we have taken the 'Roo by the horns and decided that it's time to go walkabout (in a 4x4 - I'm not messing around with any Jenny Agutter nonsense).
The original plan was to do a tour of the Eastern states of Australia - through NSW, down to Melbourne, across to Adelaide, up the middle to Uluru and Alice Springs, then across to Brisbane and back to Sydney - BUT that is totally boring because literally EVERYBODY does it.
The new plan was this - SYDNEY TO PERTH, a total of 2730 miles (4395km with a slight detour down to Albany).
I've already done a mental car journey across America just last year; driving about 2500 miles from Las Vegas to Savannah.
Driving across Oz is very different, apart from anything else it's a ton more hardcore. America is littered with towns and cities when you drive on Route 40 (Historic Route 66), the only really hard bit is going through Texas which everyone says you should do at night ('cause it's so dull).
Australia on the other hand has massive gaps between major towns with a major chunk of the journey taking place across the Nullarbor Plain which runs for about 1000 miles - with only a few places to get petrol and nothing else. Also, it is not a good idea to drive at night due to all the critters that can really fuck your vehicle up if you bash them; and judging by the Kangaroo corpses that litter the edges of the Eyre Highway this happens a lot.
So, with lots of water, some food (even this is restricted by the quarantine areas you hit at the borders of Victoria/ South Australia and South Australia/ Western Australia) we set off.
Day 1 - We drove 450 miles to Hay. Had a roast dinner - delicious.
Day 2 - Drove from Hay 612 miles to Kimba. Basic town, claimed to be halfway across Australia - erm, not really but almost. Had another roast dinner - yum.
Day 3 (New Years Eve)- Already sick of driving, left Kimba after taking a few snaps of their giant 'flaming Galah and headed across the Nullarbor.
The Nullarbor is fantastically desolate, miles and miles of scrub with only the occasional passing 4x4, strutting Emu and unrelenting sun punctating the interminable journey - it's so hardcore that everyone you pass waves at you or gives you the thumbs up to make sure you're okay.
We saw an Eagle sitting on the mangled remains of yet another unfortunate 'roo, and I swear this bird was the size of an average 8 year old kid - honest; but far less annoying (for a start it appeared to be self-sufficient).
Drove a mental 806 miles - including a 90 mile stint on Australia's straightest road - at this point it was getting near dusk which meant that it was both dangerous to drive and getting near cut off time for most roadhouse kitchens; thankfully we made it to the last stop in the Nullarbor - Balladonia, where we celebrated New Year's Eve with ANOTHER roast dinner and a 9.30pm lights out and straight to sleep.
Day 4 - Almost the final push, we set out from Balladonia and drove to Albany on the South-West coast. Rough Guide claimed it was a cool arty place, but frankly it was pretty dullsville. Had a roast. Distance covered - a mere 536 miles.
Day 5 - A short hop (325 miles) from Albany up the coast to very very hot Perth. Had pasta for my dinner.
So, a massive journey and one very few people attempt - least of all the Aussies. It's a fantastic drive and with the right attitude, a comfy car with cruise control (essential), plenty of water and food, an eye on fuel economy and an iPod stuffed with great tunes and radio plays, you can keep the in-car arguments casued by the monotony and cabin fever down to a couple a day at the most.
NEXT:
Seriously, and all in a month.
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