Ozzie xmas report

The view from our hotel (almost)

Arrived in Sydney 6am on a crisp but chilly Christmas morning. Actually that’s bullshit; it was already fantastically sunny and very warm. This continued all day in what has been my most un-Christmassy Christmas ever. In fact the only concession to Christmas was the watching of the Gavin and Stacey Christmas special – which was brilliant.

The best of Sydney has been BACON and PORK SAUSAGE. I can’t tell you how sick I was getting of ‘beef bacon’ and ‘chicken sausage’ – as Tina would say, “Don’t be fucking ridiculous; ‘beef bacon?’ No such thing”. We managed to get an ultra-early check-in at the hotel and went straight to breakfast and had literally a plate of bacon – I haven’t eaten bacon for four months… it was tough, really tough.

I was a veggie once, now I dig on swine.

Noice, different, unusual...

It’s just become boxing day here, not long now until some kind soul uploads the Christmas Who to the torrents and I can enjoy my now tradition fix of festive daleks, cybermen and Kylie Minogue.

Herge Smith - OUT!

A can-do attitude for a close shave (urgh...)

The end came today for the last bathroom product bought for this trip before I left home – a 75ml can of Gillette Fusion shaving gel (for very sensitive skin).

The lid wasn't as hardcore as the can, sadly...

I’ll be honest, I thought this would be the first thing in my wash bag to be chucked; it was such a tiny container for a start, its full sized brothers typically seem to only last a month or two so I had little hope for this boy going the full way.

But no, this little fella, brave little bugger that he was kept going. He kept on trucking when we were in France, when we boarded the CMA CGM Rigolletto, it gave me a shave before Malta and the Suez Canal, let me freshen up as pirates circled the boat through the gulf of Aden, kept giving in Kuala Lumpur, Perhentian Besar, Kota Bharu, Taman Negara, Cameron Highlands, Bukit Fraser, Malaka, Kuala Lumpur again, Kuching, The Santubong Peninsular, Bako National Park, back to Kuching, down to Batang Ai, back again to Kuching, at the very posh (and crappy) Empire hotel in Brunei, as well as the much cheaper and skankier hotel near the not-that-great-but-what-did-I-expect Omar Ali Saifuddien Mosque, over to Sabah in Kota Kinabalu, down to the place we’ve just come from where we stayed for 5 days which I can’t remember the name of right now, back to Kota Kinabalu where it has just coughed up it’s last offering of minty green hydra gel (with aloe).

Frankly, I’m amazed. If I shave around once every three days this means I’ve had at least 30 -35 shaves from this can since we left at the end of August. And don’t get me wrong, I don’t skimp with the gel, I frequently have some left after finished I’ve liberally coated my (sensitive) face – and I’ve gently (due to my sensitivity) chastised myself for wasting it, noting that this may be the last full offering it gives.

When it came to the end, which was about an hour ago it gave me just enough gel to get the job done, gave a little breathy sigh and that was it; it was empty.

I was starting to think that it might make it all the way to Australia (where we arrive on Xmas day). Not that it matters now, it’s over and it’s time to move on.

I’ve already tried looking for a replacement, ideally the same size as it saved space but alas this has been fruitless, so I suppose it’ll be a full size can; we’ll see how long this one lasts…