Where's Spleenal?

Well of course the real Spleenal is here at his blog home - and a very fancy place it is too - he's a cracking artist and like me he can't spell for siht.


I've had a mini Spleenal with me on my travels, a little fella the real Spleenal made out of resin (or something) and sent me just before I left the UK.


Here's a movie I made using him (the mini Spleenal...)

Sound UP folks, sound UP, and select HQ - the low quality will be much harder - you'll see. Or just click on it and go to my youtube page for a bigger video - again much easier.




Bloody Youtube made me take out Stereolab - apparently the Prodigy is fine but you don't mess with th'Lab...

Random scenes from an Australian Trip

*sigh*...



...back to reality I suppose... But first...

Who loves the sun?

It’s very grey in Sydney today. In fact it has been since Monday. The record temperatures of last week that contributed (along with ‘firebugs’) to the multitude of bushfires that raged through Victoria and parts of New South Wales have now abated and it feels very much like last summer in Brighton; sort of warmish, but you may need another layer and ‘Is it about to rain?’.

Almost like Futurama

The reporting of the fires has gone from honest and raw back to the media’s default position of hyperbole and bullshit, which in itself is strangely comforting. I’ve been struck by how different politicians and officials here are to the ones I’m used to seeing at home. Kevin Rudd (Ozzie PM) has been by varying degrees tearful, empathetic, encouraging, genuine and angry.

Makes quite a change from the increasingly distant and disaffected Brown, who seems to feel that going into a Churchillain mode, calm and steady, is the only way to present oneself as leader during the current economic storm. The British perhaps are far too simple for honesty. You never hear how as British people we need to be realistic and prepare for the rocky road ahead, how frankly things are a little bit fucked up at the minute. No, instead we get ‘It’ll be alright, I’m working at getting us through this. Go about your business and don’t worry’ I’ve seen Rudd talking at various times on TV here and when he talks about the economy he is unflinching, basically telling Australia that ‘Things are shit’ and the only way they’re going to get through it is to ‘work together’.

Despite the population here being far more disparate in terms of geography there seems to be a more innate sense of community; a large proportion of the fire services are volunteers; everyone is an Australian and they are proud of it. Australia day which was last month is a big deal, ‘a chance to say thanks for the sun, the beaches and for Kylie’ as the advert said. I’m not naïve enough to think that this is as universal as it would appear; apart from anything else the aboriginal people are still the elephant in the room, a challenge no administration seems to properly be able to tackle. And I’m not surprised; so much damage has been done, from an intention of genocide to the very recent and still very raw disgrace of the stolen generation. How can things be made right? Maybe they can’t now, maybe it’s too late.

I’m hoping it’ll be sunny again soon, I’ve had to start wearing jeans again, and that just won’t do.

So, what was the boat like?

I've been meaning to write a blog about the container ship we got from Le Havre, France to Port Kelang in Malaysia since the moment we disembarked - September 25th 2008 ...

... turns out I still can't be arsed, so here's a video of it instead.

Enjoy (definitely crank the sound up).

Places featured in video are -

Hamburg, Germany

Bruges, Belgium

Valetta, Malta

Suez Canal, Egypt

Lots of sea but thankfully no pirates

Port Kelang, Malaysia

Where are we now?

We're in Mt Gambia, South Australia...

See ya later.

Deuce

Rafa warming up for this post

Getting into Wimbledon during the two-week grand-slam event is tricky at best – tickets are ‘exy’ and sellout super fast and allocation is dubious with a big chunk going to LTA members and corporates. Consequently whenever the media interview people from Brit Losers Mound (aka Henman’s Hill) they are invariably posh, public schoolgirls and shrill.

I’ve always liked my tennis me, and like a lot of people I have fond memories of watching some of the classic matches, like McEnroe vs Borg, Navaratilova vs Everett and Connors vs whomever he was playing. However, Wimbledon has never really been an option, partly for the reasons above but mostly because it rains all the time in England and chances are whatever day I choose will be washed out.

Where we at?

So, we find ourselves in Melbourne during the 2^nd week of the Australian Open, the first grand-slam event of the year. Ticket prices are not extortionate and we have plenty of time on our hands… what to do… what to do…

‘Course, weather still played a factor in our trip to Melbourne Park – hottest day on record in Melbourne for over 100 years – so hot in fact that they cancelled all play on the outer courts. Fortunately Melbourne Park has two covered courts, the Hisense and Rod Laver Arena so there was lots of play. We specifically bought evening session tickets but we managed to blag our way in early (sorry for the use of the word ‘blag’ – normally can’t stand it but that was basically what happened).

Kill him Nadal!!!

Frenchie outed

We watched a couple of doubles quarter-finals and then the men’s quarter-finals, most notably the Nadal vs Simon match which Nadal won comfortably in 3 sets.

The highlight of the day was when we stood and watched Nadal warm up in the blazing sun. He was fair bashing them tennis balls. We also walked past Martina Navaratilova, which was noice.

We finally left Rod Laver arena at around eleven-thirty. It was still in the 30’s so we walked along the river to the tram stop before jumping on the tram heading for Malvern and Brighton!?!

Hot dogs

It was a terrific day and I ate 3 hot dogs; they were delicious. I then had a major heart attack brought on by all the sodium. That wasn’t so noice.

Tennis viewing in Australia and specifically Melbourne Park seems to be much more egalitarian than in the UK. There was definitely a good mix of bogans, toffs and all of us that fit somewhere in-between enjoying the tennis both outside in the red-hot sun and inside the arenas. Luckily most of the Serbian and Croatian players have already been knocked out so we didn’t get caught up in a repeat of the ethnic tensions that spilled out in Garden Square last week.

New balls please.

Sydney to Perth - Across the Nullarbor

How far to the clean bogs?

Having spent weeks and weeks doing next to nothing in Malaysia we have taken the 'Roo by the horns and decided that it's time to go walkabout (in a 4x4 - I'm not messing around with any Jenny Agutter nonsense).

The original plan was to do a tour of the Eastern states of Australia - through NSW, down to Melbourne, across to Adelaide, up the middle to Uluru and Alice Springs, then across to Brisbane and back to Sydney - BUT that is totally boring because literally EVERYBODY does it.

The new plan was this - SYDNEY TO PERTH, a total of 2730 miles (4395km with a slight detour down to Albany).

...or get a job...

I've already done a mental car journey across America just last year; driving about 2500 miles from Las Vegas to Savannah.

Driving across Oz is very different, apart from anything else it's a ton more hardcore. America is littered with towns and cities when you drive on Route 40 (Historic Route 66), the only really hard bit is going through Texas which everyone says you should do at night ('cause it's so dull).

Australia on the other hand has massive gaps between major towns with a major chunk of the journey taking place across the Nullarbor Plain which runs for about 1000 miles - with only a few places to get petrol and nothing else. Also, it is not a good idea to drive at night due to all the critters that can really fuck your vehicle up if you bash them; and judging by the Kangaroo corpses that litter the edges of the Eyre Highway this happens a lot.

...and not forgetting all the snakes and spiders that can kill ya

So, with lots of water, some food (even this is restricted by the quarantine areas you hit at the borders of Victoria/ South Australia and South Australia/ Western Australia) we set off.

Day 1 - We drove 450 miles to Hay. Had a roast dinner - delicious.

Day 2 - Drove from Hay 612 miles to Kimba. Basic town, claimed to be halfway across Australia - erm, not really but almost. Had another roast dinner - yum.

Day 3 (New Years Eve)- Already sick of driving, left Kimba after taking a few snaps of their giant 'flaming Galah and headed across the Nullarbor.

The Nullarbor is fantastically desolate, miles and miles of scrub with only the occasional passing 4x4, strutting Emu and unrelenting sun punctating the interminable journey - it's so hardcore that everyone you pass waves at you or gives you the thumbs up to make sure you're okay.

We saw an Eagle sitting on the mangled remains of yet another unfortunate 'roo, and I swear this bird was the size of an average 8 year old kid - honest; but far less annoying (for a start it appeared to be self-sufficient).

Drove a mental 806 miles - including a 90 mile stint on Australia's straightest road - at this point it was getting near dusk which meant that it was both dangerous to drive and getting near cut off time for most roadhouse kitchens; thankfully we made it to the last stop in the Nullarbor - Balladonia, where we celebrated New Year's Eve with ANOTHER roast dinner and a 9.30pm lights out and straight to sleep.

"Don't you be out on them there plains after sundown..."

Day 4 - Almost the final push, we set out from Balladonia and drove to Albany on the South-West coast. Rough Guide claimed it was a cool arty place, but frankly it was pretty dullsville. Had a roast. Distance covered - a mere 536 miles.

Day 5 - A short hop (325 miles) from Albany up the coast to very very hot Perth. Had pasta for my dinner.

So, a massive journey and one very few people attempt - least of all the Aussies. It's a fantastic drive and with the right attitude, a comfy car with cruise control (essential), plenty of water and food, an eye on fuel economy and an iPod stuffed with great tunes and radio plays, you can keep the in-car arguments casued by the monotony and cabin fever down to a couple a day at the most.

NEXT:

Dakar is for girls!

Seriously, and all in a month.

Ozzie xmas report

The view from our hotel (almost)

Arrived in Sydney 6am on a crisp but chilly Christmas morning. Actually that’s bullshit; it was already fantastically sunny and very warm. This continued all day in what has been my most un-Christmassy Christmas ever. In fact the only concession to Christmas was the watching of the Gavin and Stacey Christmas special – which was brilliant.

The best of Sydney has been BACON and PORK SAUSAGE. I can’t tell you how sick I was getting of ‘beef bacon’ and ‘chicken sausage’ – as Tina would say, “Don’t be fucking ridiculous; ‘beef bacon?’ No such thing”. We managed to get an ultra-early check-in at the hotel and went straight to breakfast and had literally a plate of bacon – I haven’t eaten bacon for four months… it was tough, really tough.

I was a veggie once, now I dig on swine.

Noice, different, unusual...

It’s just become boxing day here, not long now until some kind soul uploads the Christmas Who to the torrents and I can enjoy my now tradition fix of festive daleks, cybermen and Kylie Minogue.

Herge Smith - OUT!